PMS and an Injury?! WTF.

I'm still struggling with my post-marathon schedule-- and body. Everyone I know who just completed a big race is experiencing the same issue.

I kid you not, it's called PMS- post marathon syndrome. Runner's World states that PMS symptoms include the following:

• Comparison shopping and minimizing your marathon accomplishment
• Lacking interest in setting a new goal
• Feelings of sadness, pessimism, and worthlessness
• Feeling lost without your training
• Not able to see the light through the fog

I have 4 out of 5 of the symptoms. I absolutely need and want a new goal. The rest... yup. I miss running. It's the oddest feeling I've ever had. I am craving a long run, missing the crazy structure of the training, and I keep telling people "yes, I ran a marathon. Thanks. Yes, I had fun, but I could've done better."

What? How could I have "done better" when I busted my butt during training and gave it my all when I ran?

I want to cry, eat everything in sight, run (but can't move my legs!), lash out at people-- and do it all again. Thankfully, Trainer Amy was ready for this downward spiral and set me up with a non-marathon based training plan. For the next 2 months, I will focus on strength training and weight loss. I'm hoping that getting into this new routine will push me past the PMS and steer me away from the ice cream sundae that I'm craving.

Monday: Spin + light weights
Tuesday: Run
Wednesday: Weight Training + swimming
Thursday: Short run + weight training
Friday: rest
Saturday: Short run + weight training
Sunday: longer run or rest

Of course it's one thing to have a plan, and an entirely different thing to have a goal in mind for the end of the plan.

I have a Halloween 5K tomorrow evening, and I leave for Disney Wine and Dine in a little more than a week. YAY running (and YAY wine)! However... my Achilles has been bugging me for weeks prior to the marathon. I ran through the discomfort, as it seems to loosen up and cooperate after a mile or two, especially with taking some ibuprofen. For the last 10 days, it has been SUCH a struggle to move the foot at all- but again, as I move, it feels better.  I'm icing it at night, rolling out my calves, doing heel drops... but nothing. It's aggravating, and the only "real" recovery, I'm being told, is rest and non-weight bearing activities.

So, some of those running days may disappear until I'm feeling ok. I went for a 4 mile jog last night and felt great, but Spin on Monday night was making me want to tear my ankle off of my foot, the pain was so bad.

I think my PMS, along with my Achilles, has just put me in a funk. I know I'll snap out of it sooner rather than later, but it kind of sucks. Even after I was named the November Success! story in the local Healthy and Fit Magazine yesterday, I was bummed out. I should've been on cloud none! Instead, I was aggravated and snotty to people. I don't get it. This isn't me. This isn't how I've behaved in the past 4 months. This needs to end. Now.

I set a new marathon goal- I'm going to Oklahoma City in April 2015 to run the marathon there with one of the From Fat to Finish Line guys. I don't think I'm overdoing it- 2 months of recovery/strength training, then back to my marathon training from January-race day. Then I can recover (again) and start up my training (again) for Detroit full (October) and half marathon training for the Rock and Roll Half in Vegas (November). And of course there will be other 5K, 10K and half marathons thrown in there for good measure-- like the Thirsty Three Race Series. Check this lineup out:

Hightail to Ale 5K, May 2 in Detroit
A Keg Party with a 5K Warm Up!

Running Between the Vines 5K/Half Marathon, August 16 in Jackson
A High Class Run with a High Class Finish!

Scrumpy Skedaddle 5K/10K, October 5 in Flushing
Just not Enough Skedaddles out there!

I can do this. I like long term goals. LOVE them. Crave them.  Just like I crave a good beer or wine. Or both.

I am a FREAKING MARATHONER!!

GUYS. I DID IT. I ran 26.2 FREAKING miles around Detroit and Canada.

I am a MARATHONER.

There was laughter, tears, swearing that would make a sailor blush, lots of sweat, but I GOT IT DONE.

And I feel absolutely amazing and unstoppable.

Here's my race rundown:

Saturday: Drove to Detroit (hotel) and let me tell you- driving in Metro-Detroit traffic while tapering only raises the potential for road rage. I had to listen to a podcast while driving because I was afraid that I would become more road ragey if I had to deal with crappy music; instead I argued with the podcasters- sorry Dave and Chuck!

 I get checked into the swanky Westin-Cadillac, which was the only hotel that had rooms available when Jodi made the reservations. The hotel hands me a doortag with the Marathon logo and my room key, also with the race logo, and sends me on my way. Too bad they forgot to activate the key before handing it to me. No huge deal, but I had to go back and forth between the 16th floor and the lobby (on the 2nd floor- who does that?!) to get the key figured out.

I finally get into the room, drop off my bags, and walk the 2 blocks to get on the People Mover. The People Mover loops around the city, hitting a lot of the big attractions- Joe Louis Arena, Greektown Casino, Financial District, Ren Cen, and of course, Cobo- home of the Expo. Once on the People Mover, I looked up at the route map- Cobo is walking distance to the hotel; 2 stops in the opposite direction of the People Mover, to be exact. Oops. So I took a loop around Downtown and tried not to be so angry at myself for not reviewing the map earlier.

I get to the Expo and instead of wandering around, I made a beeline to the back of the expo where race bibs and shirts were located. Have you ever navigated 20,000 people, all trying to get to the same location within a small room? And you know I wasn't the only crabby, tapering, panicking racer in that room. Thankfully, most people were doing the same thing I was- heading straight back for our race packets, THEN enjoying the Expo. I understand the theory of putting the bibs in the back- making people go by all of the vendors increases the chances that the vendors will make sales and gain exposure. But when you're a stressed out racer who just wants his or her packet, the vendors fall to the wayside (temporarily). I just wanted the bib in my hand to soothe my nerves. I finally got into the packet pickup line and pulled out my Enhanced License to verify my identity.  The volunteer was awesome and, when she pulled out my bib number, she proudly announced "WE HAVE A GREENIE! Good luck tomorrow and have fun!"

For years, The Detroit Free Press hands out special green bibs to those who are first-time marathoners. The bibs are a special designation, alerting volunteers and spectators that you are a first-timer and may need a little more encouragement on the course. I totally forgot that there was a box on the registration asking if this was my first race or not. Apparently I checked that it was my first marathon, therefore I got a green bib. And I loved it. I especially loved that past-me remembered that you can also put a nickname on the bib-- mine said "The Goose," homage to my high school nickname. The packet was placed in my hands, and I instantly relaxed- and enjoyed the rest of the Expo. I even *patiently* waited in line to get my photo taken with the race-day countdown clock-- green bib and all.

I met up with Maureen at Hockeytown (after a mile walk- the People Mover station by Hockeytown was out of service) to watch MSU play and have a good, safe dinner pre-race. Jodi and her little one opted to check into the hotel and stay in, and Noah and his wife experienced "lost reservations" at one hotel and were scrambling to find another one. I relaxed with my best friend, enjoyed the MSU victory, and then got driven to Astoria for my post-race treats (chocolate cannolli and a chocolate mousse mouse) and back to the hotel for an early evening.

Race day.

I didn't sleep well, but that was to be expected. I got up and started drinking my water/Gatorade right away. I geared up, made sure Body Glide was applied over every surface of my body, and put on the Wonder Woman shirt I bought specifically for the race. I needed the gentle reminder that I could do it, and people jokingly called me "Wonder Woman" during training. It seemed appropriate. I ate my breakfast (English muffin with peanut butter and a handful of pretzels) on the walk to the start line. Yeah, did I mention that the hotel was 3 blocks from the start line? It was awesome.

I made sure to do a bathroom stop when I was done with the gatorade and breakfast. Any runner understands the need for the pre-race stop.

A volunteer sees me by the start line, trying to snap a selfie. She asks "Hey Greenie! Did you want me to take the photo for you real quick before they usher you to your start corral?" Of course I did! And the people at MarathonFoto were nearby as well and took a professional shot of the pose. 

I met up with Heather, a friend of mine from an online running group From Fat to Finish Line. She is amazing. She hosts her own blog and is a visiting blogger for Michigan Runner Girl. This girl has WAY more energy than I do at 6am, but she is pumped for her 8th half marathon. The girl is a MACHINE! I hope I get to hang out with her more in the future, as she lives one town over from my parents-- and is a WAY bigger fan of Detroit than I am. Her love for the city puts mine to shame! I was so happy to finally meet her in person!!


I also ran into a co-worker, Angela, in the starting corral. It was Angela's first half-marathon and she was getting pumped up. We've ran in a few races together over the past year, and it was awesome to see how excited she was and how she was taking it all in. We snapped a photo and I met up with the 12:30/mile pacing group. Our pacer, Danielle, was on marathon #51.She was full of jokes and witty one-liners, and I was excited to start the race with the group.

Bathroom stop #2 then occurs - before we started the race, thankfully. The first wave or two went off, but I was far enough back to know that I had another 15-20 minutes before my chip time start. I took care of business and got back with the pacing group.

We cross the start line- heart pounding in my chest. No turning back now.

Until mile 1.5. Yes, before mile 2, I stop to use the bathroom AGAIN. Chalk it up to first-marathon jitters combined with my AccelGel, I guess. I lost the pacing group.

I wanted to catch up with the group SO badly, but I knew that they were a good 5-10 minutes ahead of me. For the next 3 miles, I SPRINTED (well for me it was a sprint- it was really a 10:20/mile for 3 miles), despite my brain yelling at my legs to slow down. I got worried that I wouldn't be able to finish if I lost the pacing group- I needed that team support!  I barely remember crossing the Ambassador Bridge, I ran so fast across! I caught up with the group right after the bridge and surprised my pacer- which was kind of an awesome feeling.

Don't worry, that sprint came back to bite me at the end.

I ran the Canadian shoreline and dipped into the Underwater Mile (Mile 8). Last year, I didn't stop while in the tunnel because I wanted to be done, but this year I got a bit ahead of the pacing group and stopped for a borderline selfie. Head in Canada, feet in the US, y'all.

Around mile 11 or so, some tailgaters were setting up for the Lion's game and passing out shots of bourbon to runners. Yes, bourbon. The signs read "Regret is temporary. Drink water later!" and Dixie cups were lined up on a table for shots. I just laughed- then my pacer knocked one back! Good grief! She talked about how there would be beer later on during the course, how there's a person who hands out jelly beans every year to runners, and all of the upcoming aide stations that we would pass after we passed the halfway point. 

At mile 13, the half marathon group turns to cross the finish line. We... kept going straight. It was a lonely feeling-- about 2/3 of the racers were in it for the half marathon or were participating in the team relay. They were finishing with seemingly fresh legs. I was just getting started.

At mile 17 or so, the next beer sighting was upon me.  Beer -- and Polka. Why? Because Detroit, that's why. People were dancing and handing out Dixie cups of Stroh's Beer as we trotted by. I was starting to suffer, so I figured why not- I grabbed a cup and knocked it back to cheers from the volunteers at the station. I was told weeks prior to the marathon that there would be more than just water and Gatorade on the course, and to STAY AWAY from it.

Did I listen? No.

Did it taste great? Absolutely.

Did I feel that shot of beer later? You bet your sweet ass.

I wanted to vomit a mile or so later. I lost most of the pacing group by this point, and I wasn't going to catch up. By this point, I wanted to be done. I wanted to curl up into a little ball and be rolled across the finish line. Everything started to seize up on me- and I realized it was because I was slowing down. If I kept moving, even moved just a little faster, I started to feel better. By mile 21, I was jogging more than walking again and feeling like the goal was in sight!

This is of course about the same time that the US Only Half Marathon started. People started whizzing by me at ungodly paces. I started to get discouraged a bit, so I walked a short bit and checked my phone- 48 Facebook notifications and 15 text messages-- all were messages of support and encouragement.

Aww, I love you guys.

Anywho, I started to get back into the run and out jumped a pacer I had in the Capital City Half Marathon a few months prior- she was the lead of the "Mullet Crew"- the "Party at the back of the race." She remembered my name and cheered me on. A mile later, I ran into Lori, the lady who helped me after I fell (HARD) during my trail half marathon earlier that summer. She cheered me on as I passed her by.

I could see Mile 26 in the near distance-- up a hill. Really guys? I huffed and puffed to the top of the hill, turned the corner- and could see the finish line. I knew that some of my friends were at the finish, and that my family was somewhere battling to get to the finish line, so I started to pick it up- though I wanted to die.

I didn't feel a lot of emotion until I started hearing familiar voices. First Amy and Kerry- they were before the finish line. They raced down the line with me and ran into 2 of my sisters, my mom, my niece and nephew. I heard my sister yell my name (apparently making the guy in front of her lose his hearing- she apologized a LOT), saw my other sister waving a sign, and I smiled as I crossed the finish line. Then promptly cried. My mom started crying, Amy teared up, and I cried even more.

I finished. I was a marathoner. And my pacer waited for me (and the other pacers she lost during the race) to cross the finish line so she could give me a hug and a congrats!

And I beat my goal, too! I wanted to finish in under 6 hours. I finished in 5:39:59. BAM.

I got the medal placed around my neck, got my baked potato wrap for the shoulders, and looked up to see my mom pushing the race barricades aside to get the kid's strollers through to the finisher's chute. There were hugs, more tears, and then the best part-- my niece, Hannah, got lifted up to see me. I hugged her (sweaty shirt and all) as she told me "Aunt Lizzy- you WON the race!"

Dear God, I just got misty eyed again, simply by typing that out.

Then my mom told me how proud she is of me-- and asked me to get Hannah a chocolate milk in the finisher's line.

Yup. That sounds about right! I was more than happy to oblige, because THEY were just as much a part of the race as I was. My family and friends had to endure endless talking about running, workout gear, chafing, black toenails... the least I could do was ask for an extra chocolate milk for a 3 year old.

I felt invincible- until I sat down in the car on the way to lunch and couldn't get back up.

But I wouldn't trade that soreness for the world.

4 Days Out.

I'm 4 days out. I'm sitting here, shaking with nerves and I'm still 4 days out. This is ridiculous.

I'm stressed out, eating like crap thanks to the nerves, and I can't seem to wake up. Honestly, I need to sleep. I miss sleep, but when I lie down TO sleep, I wake up either stretching out a tight calf muscle or in a cold sweat because I overslept on race day.


I did a 4 mile run last night on the dreadmill, and while that's usually a piece of cake, I dreaded going and struggled through it because I'm SO FLIPPING TIRED (**side note- I also ran 11:24/mile, which is WAY faster than my estimated pace for the marathon. That probably didn't help.).

What the hell.

I feel like my body is revolting against me, and my mind is starting to chime in. "You don't HAVE to do the full 26.2. A half marathon is just as good! Maybe you're taking on too much?"
My brain needs to shut the F up.


I need to focus on WHY I run.

• I enjoy it.
• I was never able to do it before- ever.
• Mental clarity.
• Stress relief.
• Endorphins!
• I need to be HAWT by the time I go to Florida in November (for another run, of course). 
• Or at the very least by next swimsuit season.
• I want to be a marathoner- someone who is happy with her body, happy with her accomplishments, and one of the few who actually complete a marathon. 

One of my current favorite bloggers at RunSelfieRepeat posted the following yesterday, as she's preparing for HER first marathon (in NYC):

"Running a marathon is about enduring. It’s about putting one foot in front of the other when you want to quit. It doesn’t matter if you walk, crawl, hop, skip, sprint, run, dance, juggle, or jog your way through it... When those fears and anxieties arise, shake it off. Get out of your own damn way, you are ready. All you have to do now is show up, go forward, and endure. The last 4-6 months of hard work will pay off. You just have to make it through the taper!"

Oh, the evil taper. You callous, evil bitch.  For those new to running, the taper is the 2-3 weeks prior to the big race where you run less to increase performance for the race itself. It seems counter-intuitive. You run less before the race, but you feel like you should be running MORE to make sure you're ready. Competitor.com says it best, "Perhaps the chief reason for this is the Catch-22 of growing increasingly nervous about the race itself at a time when your primary means of blowing off stress – exercise – is, by obligation, sharply limited. Some runners feel that they are gaining unneeded weight... Glycogen storage requires significant water retention, so if you’re a few pounds up, you very likely have achieved a state of proper hydration, not packed on unwanted body mass."



But the taper is GOOD for you! Levels of muscle glycogen, enzymes, antioxidants, and hormones–all depleted by high mileage–return to optimal ranges during a taper. The muscle damage that occurs during sustained training is repaired. Immune function and muscle strength improve which reduces the odds you'll catch a cold or get injured just before the race. The average performance improvement by the subjects who tapered in studies reduced their target finish time by 5 to 10 minutes in a marathon.

So I have to cut back on my miles, go slower on those miles, eat more carbs, make sure I'm hydrated, and know that gaining weight is OK.

Mind !#@$, that's what I say.  I hate you, universe. HATE YOU.

But it's ok. I have some things to look forward to post-marathon, right?

Marathon Day- Information for Spectators.

Bib numbers were released the other day... that email FREAKED ME OUT. But anywho, here's the pertinent info for those who are coming to Detroit to watch me- or who wants to track me online through both countries. All times are EST. 

The Free Press website will be live-streaming the start/finish line. http://www.freep.com/article/20131020/SPORTS23/131019001/ (6:30am- 2pm) I should be crossing to start around 7:24am, and should hopefully finish around 12:30-1pm.

Track me! http://live.xacte.com/detroitmarathon/r = bib 5108

Parking to access the race: http://www.freepmarathon.com/info/parking (People Mover starts at 5am; both the Michigan and Fort/Cass stops take you to the start/finish line) - this only shows about 2/3 of the race course-- it leaves out Belle Isle. That's where I recommend going, as that's where the spectators are limited, parking is ample, and runner's drive is LOW. The cheering can help!

I’m averaging 12:30-13 minute/mile, so I will base the below with the 13 minute/mile time estimate (just in case I’m a little slow- but know I could get an adrenaline rush and pass by a little faster!). I would use this as well as the runner tracking to see where I am.

• Start line: 7:24am 
• Bridge entrance (mile 2): 7:40am
• Bridge exit (Canada – mile 4) 7:56am
• Tunnel Entrance (Canada- mile 7) 8:25am
• Mexicantown (mile 10.5) 9:00am
• Corktown (mile 11.25) 9:16 am
• Half Marathon mark (split from half to full- mile 13- near start line) 9:42am
• Elmwood Cemetery- Lafayette west of Mt. Elliott (mile 15) 10:08am
• Indian Village (mile 17) 10:34am
• Belle Isle (mile 19 and 22.5) 11:00am/11:45am
• Renaissance Center (mile 25.5) 12:24 pm
• Start/finish line (mile 26.2) 12:36pm

 
Hope to see you on the course- either running or holding a sign! And sincerely, thank you. Who knew that I would be running a freaking marathon in my mid 30's? Not me.

Dietician Downfall

I met with my dietician today- I've met with her 3x now and each time, I seem to leave less impressed with her and - worse yet- less impressed with myself. I've repeatedly told her that I'm training for a marathon and weight loss is still a goal. I've "only" lost 5lbs in the past 8 weeks of working with her (her words, not mine), and now she's recommending that after my training season that I go on a meal replacement plan for 6 weeks to expedite my weight loss, so I can train better and lighter post-meal replacement.

Sure, running 50lbs lighter than I am now would be awesome, but... am I doing something wrong now? I'm running 20-30 miles a week, taking a Spin class every week, doing other amazing things, limiting my primarily healthy food to 1500-1600 calories/day and I still can't win. She's focused on the food portion and not really taking my fitness into account. In fact, I'm working out "too" much to sustain weight loss. My muscle mass has increased in my core, but somehow has slightly (like .3%) decreased in my legs...?

What. Is. Happening?!?

I'm so frustrated and want to go running face-first into a chocolate peanut butter cupcake instead of tackling my 10 miles today.

But I didn't. I ran those awful 10 miles, complained about it the entire way, complained about HER the entire distance... I don't feel any closer to liking this lady, but I feel a little better.

When I met with Trainer Amy the next day, I told her what the dietician said. Amy is getting her nutritional certification at the moment, so she was interested in hearing what the dietician told me. I kept repeating, "She's right- training would be so much easier with 50lbs off of this body. And if you could lose 50 lbs in 6 weeks, wouldn't YOU do it?"

Answer? No. For people like me, who are active yet still struggling with weight loss, a meal replacement plan isn't the best option. Plus, what happens after 6 weeks? I start training hard again and am back to the same place I am now- struggling with what I eat while running large amounts. I would gain that 50 lbs right back.

She's right. I hate it when she's right, which is quite often.

So I took a FFTFL poster's comment to heart-- "You need to lose 120 lbs-- OF DIETICIAN!" and have decided not to see this ray of sunshine again. I'll find someone who specializes with athletes because, yes, I'm an athlete.

Weight loss update (yes, a week late): Down total of 7! WOO HOO!

Mileage update: 20 on the agenda for tomorrow, 14 already completed this week for a weekly total of 34 miles OF AWESOME.

Injuries? Of course. My Achilles hates me, which is making my ankle pick up the slack and ALSO hate me.

Biggest Loser

I'm a few days behind, but I'm finally watching the season premier of The Biggest Loser- Glory Days (Season 16). I'm loving the former athlete spin on this already- the new trainers seem great and more motivational than the past few trainers (Dolvett aside- he's hot and awesome). Then again, I'm only in the first 15 minutes of the show...

First thing they do is show each person's starting weight and find out the motivations behind why they want to lose weight. Some was to return to his/her former glory. Some were for health reasons. One was because he promised his son (who has since died) that he would get healthy and stay on the planet for a little longer. And if that wasn't heartbreaking enough, one of the athletes opened up about having 7 miscarriages since trying to get pregnant. 

Their struggles are real. 

One of the new trainers stated how important it is to realize that you need help and that you need to accept the help offered. 

"Yes I've got a problem and yes I need help."

Knowing that even former athletes struggle with weight scares me- yet also is refreshing. Nobody is immune from the struggle of weight loss. The athletes have encountered horrible life events, yet still want to soldier on and change their lives. So what am I afraid of? 

Failure. Embarrassment. Not being as strong as others think I am. Not being good enough.

But nobody achieves success without sometimes failing. Nobody is judging me while I'm running outside (or inside) but myself- there is no embarrassment. My friends and family have seen me at my strongest- and at my weakness- and love me without judgment. And while I may not be good enough for some, I'm perfectly good enough for myself. In fact, I'm pretty damn awesome.

I'm stronger. And healthier. And BETTER.
 
I'm ready to take this challenge on with the athletes. I'm 34 days away from my first full marathon and scared. I'm running and working out 5 days a week minimum and not losing weight. 

One of the new trainers, Jen, made a comment that stuck with me- "There's 2 places that we're motivated to make decisions from: fear or love. If you operate from a place of fear, you will fail. But if you operate from a place of 'I'll try, I want to do this for myself,' from that place of love- you can do it!"

I love myself and love what I'm becoming. I'm acting out of love. And this damn show made me cry ALREADY.

My weight, measurements, and body comp are all done. I'll provide weekly updates (although this didn't get posted until almost Week 2 of TBL, all measurements were taken at the start, last week!) and recaps on the show, hopefully finding themes that resonate well with me. Like love.

Let's do this.

40 Days to Go

...what? 40 days? SERIOUSLY? I just finished a 16 mile run 2 days ago, and you're saying I have 40 DAYS until I'm expected to run 26.2?!

Well, crap.

I'm starting to get everything lined up. The training schedule is ticking along, progress is being made, but I'm still getting scared. Excited, but really really REALLY scared. 26.2 is a long way to go- can my body handle it? Can my brain? Do I have enough fuel, let alone the right kind of fuel?

I'm constantly tired. All I ever want to do is go home, sit on my couch with some crappy tv show on, and rest. My days have turned into work, training, eat, repeat. Not a whole lot of variation. And that's ok. I like the predictability of my days lately. What I don't like is the feeling of complete exhaustion by the end of each run. I don't feel "energized" when I'm done, rather, I feel...blah. Accomplished? Sure. But all pumped up and ready to go? Nope.

I've been working with a dietician the last few weeks, so I can properly fuel for the marathon as well as lose some weight. She still has me at 1500 calories/day which, on its own, would make me lose weight. But even on run days- and LONG run days- I'm still supposed to aim for around 1500 calories. I've noticed that while I'm making better choices and sticking somewhat close to the 1500 calorie mark, I am not seeing much of a weight difference. She explained that training for the marathon and weight loss is not 100% mutually exclusive, but it's very difficult to lose weight while training- because you're gaining muscle at a rapid rate.

I get it. I'm a smart girl. But how can you NOT lose some weight when you're running 20+ miles a week?! But I digress.

Some members of one of the online communities I belong to, From Fat to Finish Line, is starting a blogging/weight loss challenge to correspond with the new season of The Biggest Loser. This starts up on Thursday. So come Thursday, I'll post measurements, weight (!!), and whatnot- all in the hopes that I will lose some weight along with those in TV land.

Maybe it's the push that I need...!

Catching Up With the Universe

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm slacking. Now that my night job is complete until February (not as exciting as you may think), I can get back to writing and rambling.

 Since the last post, I've completed the following races:

• Lansing Half Marathon- and injured myself 4 miles from the finish line
• 5 mile trail run where we started the race by running up hill. UP. HILL.
• 10K trail run- where I fell on my FACE, then raced home to host a housewarming party, where my sewer line promptly backed up into my basement
• Lansing Color Run
• 10K in Downtown Lansing following a 4 mile "warmup" run
• BTN Big10K in Chicago- ran in tattoos and a tutu, AND got a PR in the race!

And, drumroll please... I successfully completed my first triathlon- and LOVED IT!

I'm in week 6 of marathon training. MARATHON TRAINING. I can handle the half marathon training- I've done it before (twice), but something is mentally blocking me from being fully prepared for the full. I've had meltdowns, ice baths, fits while trying on new running shoes- what gives?

But I had a moment today where, looking forward to Saturday's 5 mile race, I said to myself-- "I have to run 12 miles this weekend anyway. I might as well do the half marathon on Saturday instead of the 5 mile race."

I've never been able to make a comment like that before and believe that it could actually happen. Whoa.

It's hard to keep these positive things in mind when other parts of your life are not going the way as planned. Sometimes, it feels like the negative outweighs the positive. And I hate it.

Thankfully I have a great support system, friends who tells me that I'm doing great, family that sends me "just because you're awesome" flowers, running buddies who drag me out of my house to go for a jog. While I still feel incomplete at times, I have to tell myself that I'm a work in progress. Not everything is going to come together all at once. That only happens for people in movies, not to real people.  And that's ok. But I'm sticking to bad movies for awhile (Sharknado 1 and 2 viewing this weekend!).

I want to believe that there's a time and place for everything, and that the universe has some grand plan in store for me.  But, as a noted control freak, that's hard for me to reconcile. I like making my own plans.

So tonight- I plan to run 6 miles and leave the drama in the dust. As for the rest, I guess it's up to the universe.

Am I really overtraining? Or just over indulging?

 

I'm STILL STUCK. In fact, the scale is going in the wrong damn direction. That being said, I've received more "you look AMAZING!" comments in the last week than ever before.

Huh?

So I ask Trainer Amy about it. I'm frustrated. I'm eating fairly well (80/20 rule!), working out, tracking food and calories, but my pants were still snug this morning.

What gives?

Trainer Amy "accused" me of overtraining. WHAT?! I feel lazy in that there are 2 times a week where I do nothing, but I'm being told that I'm training TOO much? That's crazy. People train 7 days a week! People are out there training A LOT more than I am. How is it possible that I'm overtraining?! We're taught that you should be active every day, but now I'm being told I'm doing too much? But I have so much more to lose!!

Here's my schedule:

Monday: Spin class
Tuesday: Personal Training
Wednesday: SOMETIMES a 1 mile walk/jog with the dog and then swimming for 1/2- 3/4 mile
Thursday: Weights- but usually, nothing
Friday: USUALLY nothing. Sometimes a light 2-3 mile jog with the dog
Saturday: Triathlon class (1/2 mile swim, 13 mile spin ride, 1.5 mile jog)
Sunday: long run (this week, it's 10 miles)

It's slogans like this that get me in trouble...!

I don't think I'm over doing it at all. Saturday-Tuesday kind of suck, but the rest of the week, is light. So what gives?

BodyBuilding.com lists the signs of overtraining as:

• A plateau in performance. I've been increasing in weight and haven't been able to knock any more time off of my long runs
• A drop in performance. See above
• Elevated Resting HR (an easy way to measure this is to take your resting HR when you first awaken and compare it from week to week). I feel like my heart is racing as I'm sitting here, typing this out
• Elevated Training HR (if you know at level 6 on the treadmill you normally have a heart rate of 120 bpm, and lately has been measuring 150 bpm, something may be wrong). Can't say I've noticed as my heart rate monitor STILL isn't working. What gives, Polar?!
• Feeling of "heaviness." I always feel heavy. What's it like to NOT feel heavy?
• Ongoing muscle soreness (chronic). My back and legs ache, but it's because I'm always using them!
• A desire to skip workouts Again, this is kind of a daily thing.
• Lack of enthusiasm when it comes to both the gym and everyday activities. I'm just tired. All I need is a nap and I'll be fine!
• Decreased concentration. I've always been distracted by shiny objects.
• Tiredness. Always. Again, I'm under a lot of stress though! And the dog woke me up this morning at 6am because the neighbors were moving the trash can!
• Sleep disorder (both too much and not enough). Sleep apena. Yup.
• Lack of appetite. HAHAHAHA never.
• Weight loss (when not trying). This happens to people? They lose weight without trying? I WISH.

 Well crap. Maybe I'm overdoing it a little bit. On top of my workout schedule, I'm dealing with new house stress (I close next week!), work stress, life... I just want to go home, read a book, and sleep.

Maybe I should listen to my body... but I have 19 days until the first half marathon of the season! And less than a week until I move into my new place! I HAVE NO TIME TO STOP TRAINING!

I'm not so sure I buy into overtraining a whole lot. Even with the science behind it. People do it all of the time, so why can't I hack training more than 5 days a week? And if I slow down on my training, what's to stop me from quitting altogether? 

I'm a little flipped out and frustrated with my body. But there's nothing I can do but sit back and relax a little bit...

...after tonight's spin class.

No More Late Night Snacks and Trying to Juice

After my weight loss meltdown last week, Trainer Amy gave me two tasks to focus on for the next few weeks:

• No eating after 7pm. No water. Nothing after 7.
• Try juicing for breakfast.

Let's dissect my two new focus points, shall we?

No eating after 7pm

Look, I work 40 hours a week. I have a life outside of working out. I am a late mover and shaker, and I hate going to the gym in the AM. So I go at night, after work. By the time I get to my classes at the Y or get to do a run, it's already 6pm. Add in a shower, a drive home, and preparing dinner, and it's after 7. This is a NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE GOAL. But I'm trying.

And Trainer Amy said if I work out prior to 7pm (which is typical), I need to eat something small pre-work out, then after the workout I can have something small with protein (yogurt, eggs, chicken). But that is the ONLY exception.

I'm an evening snacker. Realisticly, I'm an all-day snacker. Or all-day eater. Whatever. But I don't like telling my body that it can't have its nightly snack, whether it be a granola bar or frozen yogurt. It's habit. As a child, we got a snack at night, after dinner but before bedtime. On Sunday nights we went crazy and had a bigger snack- like ice cream in a warm waffle right from the waffle iron... but I digress.

Runner's World covered the "no eating after dinner" topic on it's online version in June 2013. Researchers from Brigham Young University looked at the short-term effect of night eating restriction on daily calorie consumption, weight, and even mood. They recruited 29 young men and asked them to avoid consuming calories (water was okay) between the hours of 7 p.m. to 6 a.m. for two weeks. During these two weeks the participants recorded every bite they consumed, and their weight, mood, and level of hunger at breakfast were monitored. There was a one-week break, and then for two more weeks (a control period) the subjects were monitored as they returned to their usual way of life. The average weight change was a loss of nearly 0.9 pounds during the two weeks of nighttime fasting and a gain of approximately 1.3 pounds during the control period. When they avoided eating between the hours of 7 p.m. to 6 a.m., participants reduced their daily calorie intake by an average of 238 calories. Which helps to explain the weight loss of almost half a pound a week.

So... maybe it's worth trying? I'm going to go with the "no eating after dinner" instead of the 7pm. I'm trying to push dinner up in my day, but I also don't want to eat dinner then work out on a full stomach. Because that's just gross.

Try juicing for breakfast

This was a new one. Trainer Amy looked at my food journal on MyFitnessPal and saw way too much junk- and not enough protein or vegetables. I tried to argue that there's not a lot of veggies and fruits in season, but she quickly shushed me.  The bottom line is that I'm opting for carbs and not going for the more filling, vitamin rich breakfast. She gave me some juicing recipes, told me to grab some protein powder to add to the juice, and sent me on my way.

For the first few days, I made her "blue power juice"- 1/2 c frozen strawberries, 1/2 pear, 1/2 apple, 2 c. baby kale/spinach/swiss chard mix, 1 baby cucumber, 2 carrots. I tried to use the roommate's juicer but I couldn't figure it out. So I blended instead of juiced.

It tasted like dirt.

It still tasted like dirt when I had it day 2... and day 3... and when I made it on day 4 and couldn't fight it into my stomach, I gave up on the "blue power" and made my own juice. My juice started out as an entire orange, a whole apple, a whole pear, and 2 carrots. I was then guilted into adding 2 c of the kale mix (by a 9 year old!)- and I threw some strawberries in there for good measure. This was AWESOME- it didn't taste like an old shoe at all! But I know, deep down, that I should have added more veggies. And I totally forgot the protein powder. Oops.

Which leads me to my juicing rules:

Juicing rule #1 Go easy on the fruits- while fruit is good for you, it's the vegetables that you need in the juice. Fruits are some vitamins and a lot of sugar. Vegetables are full of vitamins and...taste like dirt. But when you consume 4 servings of fruit in a juice, your insulin may spike and you will crash. Hard. 

Last night, I grabbed a few new pointers and ran to the grocery store. I picked up some lemons, a bunch of mint, a pineapple, and a hunk of ginger root. I mixed the base of the "blue power juice" and omitted the blueberries. I added a half of a lemon (naturally low in sugar), half of an orange, a small bit of ginger, and some mint. It was great. It looked like a puddle of mud in my Nalgene this morning, but it was actually tasty! Still probably too much fruit, but it's ok. I'll get to more veggies. Eventually.

Juicing rule #2-  juicing is totally different than blending. My roommate laughed when I said I couldn't figure out how to use the juicer. Then he read off the reasons why juicing is superior to blending. Dude, I just need juice. I don't care how it's made. But apparently I *should* care.  A juicer extracts liquid nutrition from vegetables and fruits and leaves the fiber behind. This absence of the bulky fiber is the main difference between juices and smoothies (blender). Since most of the fiber is gone, it's best to drink the juice on an empty stomach- and don't expect the juice to make you feel full. Which leads to..

Juicing rule #3: It's OK to still eat breakfast while juicing! I love that I'm getting my vitamins in and all of that, but I NEED FOOD. I wasn't feeling too powerful after the first few "juicing breakfasts" so now I drink the juice and have walnuts or some other small breakfast item about 30-60 minutes later. The problem with this theory is that I've now added 300+ calories to my diet in the AM without feeling full. Maybe if I go back to rule #1, the calories will go down.

Juicing rule #4: Juice the soft stuff first, then the harder veggies. Otherwise everything will get stuck inside of the machine and you will spend 20-30 minutes digging out carrot pulp from a device that only a skinny knife will fit into. And we all know how me and knives don't get along.

Good grief, let's hope I survive this next week...

P-Funk (as in Pounds Funk)

I'm in a funk.

On Sunday, I successfully completed a 6 mile run around campus- in the frigid, 19 degree weather. Thankfully I had Lisa and Jodi to run with me, because I don't think I would have gotten out of the car to run otherwise. It was BRUTAL. But, as we ran down Harrison and across Shaw Lane, I started to feel... good. Sure, I was a little numb and kept waiting for the robotic voice to tell me I've knocked another mile off of the day's list, but it felt good to be out there running. I was surprised!

Of course, the later that day, I was feeling stiff and completely drained of all energy.

Yesterday, kind of the same thing happened- I went to work, then went to a kick-ass spin class where we did ladder exercises. I got home afterwards, showered, cooked dinner, then collapsed with exhaustion by 11pm. I'm drained and almost dreading today's workout with Trainer Amy.

"What's a ladder exercise?" you might ask. Its a move where, if your instructor says "It's ladder day!" you should RUN out of the classroom. Just kidding... kind of. I just glared at my wonderful instructor and buckled down for a hard workout. Here's what we did:

• 1 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute seated recovery
• 2 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute seated recovery
• 3 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute seated recovery
  
• 4 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute seated recovery
• 5 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute seated recovery

Yeah. That was just the FIRST part. Then the fun kicked in:

• 5 minute standing climb
• 1 minute seated sprint
• 4 minute standing climb
• 1 minute seated sprint
• 3 minute standing climb
• 1 minute seated sprint
• 1 minute recovery (YAY!)
• 2 minute standing climb
• 1 minute seated sprint

Get it? See the "ladder" in the workout? See why I was exhausted?

Here's the problem though- I probably could have upped the intensity a bit more and added more resistance to the bike. But I didn't want to. I probably could have ran 7 miles on Sunday but, again, I didn't want to. I'm not losing weight, so who cares how many calories I burn?

I'm in a funk. And it blows.

This isn't me. I *wish* it was, but nope. Not me. Soon, maybe.

I'm meeting with my trainer tonight to go over my food journals, calorie count (damn you, BMR), workouts... something is just not right. I'm losing inches, but not pounds. And I know I shouldn't complain because weight is just a number... but to someone who has battled her weight her entire life, it's MORE than that. It's a measure of progress, a tangible thing that *I* can see. I don't see the inches lost when I look in the mirror. I still see the girl who couldn't get off of the couch a few years ago. What I can see, however, is the bright blue numbers light up on the scale.

It's a brain game, I know. And I need to get my head wrapped around the idea that I can gain weight and have it be healthy. My heart is 1000x stronger than before, I don't need my inhaler anymore on long runs, I feel better and am in overall better health- but the scale numbers keep climbing. What gives?

I know I can make better food choices- I didn't need two Bloody Mary's after Sunday's run, and I sure as hell didn't need the french fries that went along with the burger at the Peanut Barrel. I didn't need to eat half of a block of (reduced fat) cheese throughout the evening yesterday, but I did- and justified it by giving the dog a few pieces here and there. But I'm within my daily calories, so I should see some kind of progress, right?

I'm in a cooking funk too- turkey sloppy joes and roasted veggies were on yesterday's menu, but I have no idea what I'm making for the rest of the week. I have... pork chops. That's it. And I really don't want to go grocery shopping until Thursday (pay day). Maybe I need new recipes- and a kitchen full of my stuff to cook dinner in. Then again, maybe I just need a personal chef to do all of my cooking for me and just put a plate in front of me, perfectly portioned out. And someone to lock the pantry which is hiding a box of Girl Scout cookies.

This funk HAS to snap soon. The season's first half marathon is weeks away and I'm nowhere near ready. Finishing this race in 2 hours 30 minutes is going to be a struggle for me, especially since it's a trail run and I don't have trail shoes yet. Maybe I can just roll down some of the hills and call it good.

Stress, Changes, and A New Beginning

This is a loaded, long-winded post, so make sure you're properly caffeinated if you choose to read on...

A LOT has happened in the past 4+ months. A lot. Which is the primary reason I'm delinquent in updating this blog.

Check out the goose egg on the right foot!!

• I fell and sprained my ankle while running about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving. It was ugly and painful and SUCKED because it was right before the Turkey Trot 10K and the Silver Bell Fun Run- which I was taking a kid to with me. She was bummed out, I was disappointed- stuck on crutches AND a walking boot. It was just bad all around. I didn't just let myself down, I let down a 9 year old. And SHE was the one to comfort ME.

 
• The man and I parted ways right before Thanksgiving. I still don't really know what happened there, but I've grown more confident in the assumption that it had nothing to do with me. I'm not being cocky here, rather, I'm choosing to believe what he told me. It is what it is, and I'm over it-- and actually can look back to the relationship with some fondness. There was some good in there- along with some bad.

• Ending things meant I had to move out of the house- and in with a friend in Williamston. I stayed there through the holiday season (well, between there and my parent's place).

• I then moved AGAIN to a friend's place in East Lansing. I've been there since January, and I'm looking for a permanent home for me and my dog. PS- home shopping on a limited budget isn't too much fun.

Jingle Belle Run 2013- Attack of the Christmas Elf!

I'm still training and going strong but it was dicey there for awhile, especially with the moving and being 30+ minutes away from work and the gym. But things have settled down. I finished a fun run in December (Jingle Belle 2013), ran in the Bracket Buster 5K last night (best time yet: 32:34!), training 6 days a week- normalcy has returned.

Because life has changed course, I thought I should pick a few new goals for 2014.

1) I will complete my first triathlon this June. I'm signed up, starting to collect gear, and gathering information. The panic started escalating when I registered for the race last month.

2) I also signed up for my first marathon (Detroit). Holy. Shit.

3) I'm completing 2 trail half marathons prior to the tri and the full marathon. Because I apparently don't want to be able to feel my legs until November.

4) My weight and whatnot need to go down. I'm losing inches everywhere but the scale is stuck. Trainer Amy swears it will fall off but I don't believe it.

5) My cholesterol is better than it was last year but it still needs to improve. More flaxseed and fish oil!I'm on supplements to assist my healthy eating, but have been told to keep eating nuts, oatmeal- stuff that keeps the bad cholesterol away. But Jet's pizza is TOO DAMN GOOD to cut out completely!

6) I'm going to be mindful of going out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I tried oysters yesterday, jumped on a plane to Tallahassee at a week's notice, signed up for some scary races (trail half-marathons? triathlons? Just drop me off of a cliff), finding "hidden pockets of lovely" in the city limits... Why not try things at least once, right? Within reason, of course. I'm not going to be crazy and jump out of a plane or anything.

I'm scared of my upcoming schedule, but it's a new start. And nothing good has ever come from doing the same thing day in, day out. Time to surprise myself a bit.