Catching Up With the Universe

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm slacking. Now that my night job is complete until February (not as exciting as you may think), I can get back to writing and rambling.

 Since the last post, I've completed the following races:

• Lansing Half Marathon- and injured myself 4 miles from the finish line
• 5 mile trail run where we started the race by running up hill. UP. HILL.
• 10K trail run- where I fell on my FACE, then raced home to host a housewarming party, where my sewer line promptly backed up into my basement
• Lansing Color Run
• 10K in Downtown Lansing following a 4 mile "warmup" run
• BTN Big10K in Chicago- ran in tattoos and a tutu, AND got a PR in the race!

And, drumroll please... I successfully completed my first triathlon- and LOVED IT!

I'm in week 6 of marathon training. MARATHON TRAINING. I can handle the half marathon training- I've done it before (twice), but something is mentally blocking me from being fully prepared for the full. I've had meltdowns, ice baths, fits while trying on new running shoes- what gives?

But I had a moment today where, looking forward to Saturday's 5 mile race, I said to myself-- "I have to run 12 miles this weekend anyway. I might as well do the half marathon on Saturday instead of the 5 mile race."

I've never been able to make a comment like that before and believe that it could actually happen. Whoa.

It's hard to keep these positive things in mind when other parts of your life are not going the way as planned. Sometimes, it feels like the negative outweighs the positive. And I hate it.

Thankfully I have a great support system, friends who tells me that I'm doing great, family that sends me "just because you're awesome" flowers, running buddies who drag me out of my house to go for a jog. While I still feel incomplete at times, I have to tell myself that I'm a work in progress. Not everything is going to come together all at once. That only happens for people in movies, not to real people.  And that's ok. But I'm sticking to bad movies for awhile (Sharknado 1 and 2 viewing this weekend!).

I want to believe that there's a time and place for everything, and that the universe has some grand plan in store for me.  But, as a noted control freak, that's hard for me to reconcile. I like making my own plans.

So tonight- I plan to run 6 miles and leave the drama in the dust. As for the rest, I guess it's up to the universe.